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by Brooke Eaton
Monster Staff Writer
“The politics of the workplace function to heighten paranoia in even normal people, and the damaged, friable crazy boss is ill-equipped to establish any kind of equilibrium. In full-blown cases, the perpetually fearful stance can create powerful delusions that have the force of truth in much the same way as dreams.”--
Crazy Bosses: Fully Revised and Updated by Stanley Bing
Trust is an important foundation for any boss/employee relationship. For
Monster member dazedandconfused, lack of trust was just the beginning:
I had been dealing with a notorious former employer (drunk/doper/certifiable) and this person had been doing the weekly Jekyll/Hyde performance in the office. After some hours of this carnival, I was fed up and turned to the nut and exclaimed as loudly as I could, “Have you ever been diagnosed?” This drunk then leaped up and pushed a tiny little tape recorder at me and told me -- I am not kidding -- “GOT IT ON TAPE!” Bing’s Diagnosis“The paranoid is neat -- organized to an insane degree,” says Bing. “He is scared of people and germs. He is convinced everybody is out to get him. And he is probably right. Quoting dazedandconfused, ‘This idiot also stole and used surveillance cameras on staff and family. (Who knows where the cameras are now? Who cares? This freak continues this shell game to this day).’ Yeah, the paranoid is prepared, even in the middle of self-medicating, to self-protect from the forces allied against him."
“The paranoid can be hard to figure out, too, because of all the crazy bosses, he may, in fact, be the textbook craziest,” continues Bing. “This is the guy who, like a former boss of mine, kept all his pencils at one length and lined them up on his desk precisely. When he used one for a while, he had to sharpen the rest down to make the exact lengths the same. The paranoid is frightened. Fear is his operating principle. Mistrust of others drives him.”
The silver lining to witnessing the paranoid boss’s irrational behavior is the bottomless source of conversation starters it provides. Be sure to bond with your coworkers over how ridiculous your boss can be. Having friends to joke with will make working for a paranoid boss a lot easier. Just be careful -- you never know what areas of the office he has bugged.
Bing Suggests“The good news about paranoiac personalities is they, like wimps, are more easily manipulated than many others. For instance, I once worked for a guy who was convinced his senior management was out to get him. I would routinely go into his office and verify that fact.
‘Wow,’ I would say, ‘those guys in Cleveland really seem to have it out for you.’ He would turn as white as a ghost.
‘What do you know?’ he would finally whisper.
‘Not that much,’ I would answer. ‘Let me see if I can find out more.’
And I would go away and play DOOM on my computer. He remained behind closed doors, cringing. It was a happy time.”
Bing advises to do this sparingly, because while it will probably provide you with great pleasure, you run the risk of your boss overreacting and taking you down with him.
More Help for Dealing with a Paranoid Boss:
Other Crazy Bosses in This Feature: