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by Brooke Eaton
Monster Staff Writer
“Pathologically confident. Refreshingly uninterested in what’s going on with you. Dynamic, charming and scary ruthless when he wants something. Above all, selfish. Selfish as a little child, without the cute dimples.”--
Crazy Bosses: Fully Revised and Updated by Stanley Bing
Surrounding yourself by successful professionals can inspire you to be better, unless those people are constantly rubbing their success in your face.
Monster member Wallski215j8 deals with bosses who not only brag incessantly, but can’t seem to share the wealth:
My bosses are a husband and wife who own/operate a manufacturing business. Both of them drive expensive vehicles: He drives a large truck; she, a 745Li BMW. The business they own is small, only four employees. We all work our tails off for them. Their attitudes are ridiculous! They make fun of people who drive cheaper cars; they make fun of the neighborhood where I live…. It's frustrating to see greedy people own a business. I have been faithful at coming to work on time every day and really hitting my work hard. All this only to be rewarded with a slap in the face -- a $1 an hour raise! This, just days after learning we had approval for a large contract that would earn them tons of money. Then she comes in a couple of weeks later and tells me they are going to be remodeling their house and buying all new furniture -- $20,000 worth. Why do I need to know how much she spent? And I learned the other day I will be losing my employer-paid healthcare coverage on the first of November. While she sits on her big butt playing on MySpace and talking on the phone all day, I am making her wallet fatter. She’ll micromanage me and what I do all day long.... The only reason I am hanging on now is to get my bonus for Christmas and my annual “raise” (we'll see what that amounts to in a few weeks). If it's as skimpy as the last one, I'm outta here!Bing’s Diagnosis“These people are in love with themselves, so it sounds to me like a classic case of narcissists,” says Bing. “Narcissists don’t see a problem if other people feel ground into the dirt. They don’t mind making fun of other people who can’t afford the same kinds of houses and cars they have. They actually believe others will be excited and enthused by their success. Why not? Doesn’t the world revolve around them? The problem is worse when, as is true in this case, the big, fat egoists actually own the business. Then there’s very little that can be done to them.”
Narcissist bosses tend to be so self-aggrandizing because of their deep, unresolved insecurities. So as much as you might hate listening to them talk about themselves all the time, Bing says staying in their vicinity can be smart. Sometimes, all they really need is a shoulder to cry on or someone to keep them from being alone. So if you can stand to put the time in, you might be someone the narcissist considers invaluable to the company, (but really mostly just to him).
Bing Suggests“The technique for managing these types is subtle and difficult -- involving some sucking up, some manipulation and some aggression,” says Bing. If the narcissist trusts you enough, a little honesty in appropriate moments might prove highly effective. But Bing warns to be careful, because “when thwarted, the narcissist is likely to fly into uncontrollable rage. So on the other hand; you could just get outta there.”
More Help for Dealing with a Narcissistic Boss
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