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For Asian Americans raised in a home strongly influenced by Confucian ideals, career choices are often peppered with parental input.
Modern American culture dictates a more self-directed, individualistic approach to career decisions. But Confucian influence, which dictates that you respect and obey your elders, means involving parents and possibly teachers, professors and bosses as well.
As a result, Asian Americans may head down career paths that are not of their own choosing, spending time in “acceptable” careers that make them unhappy. They often change careers later in life. Moreover, many Asian Americans don't seriously conduct career self-assessment.
One Career Seeker's Story
Stephanie Chang (not her real name), 31, an American-born Chinese American, spent five years as an attorney for a major corporate law firm. Though raised in the US, she grew up in a culturally Asian household, speaking Chinese to her parents and grandparents. Her parents had always kept a copy of the latest local Chinese newspaper around the house on top of US dailies and periodicals. They were as interested in maintaining Chinese traditions as picking up American customs.
In addition to language and culture, Chang grew up with a strong emphasis on obedience to parents and elders. Education was considered extremely important, and everyone expected her to make it in corporate America upon graduation.
However, when Chang was being considered for promotion at her law firm, she began to seriously reassess her future. After completing some career self-assessment exercises, she found that she possessed superior people skills and could negotiate her way into anything. Working at the firm was growing tedious, and she was beginning to resent the significant amount of time she spent stuck inside an office reviewing documentation and other paperwork.
When she was in law school, she had considered working for a financial services firm selling financial products, but at the time, her parents considered it too risky and not honorable enough for a lifelong profession. After all, she was the first in her family to attend a good university in the United States, and they wanted her to enter a field with some security. After serious soul-searching, Chang decided to move forward with her new career direction. Later, she networked with a dozen investment firms, and many contacts expressed interest in her legal background.
Today, Chang works in financial sales, managing relationships with large clients. She is successful in her role, and her parents have come to understand the importance of her job function and value her decision. Her parents appreciated her efforts to bring them into the decision-making process, as their opinions also evolved over time.
How to Engage Parents
In the end, you need to follow your own path, even if it is not part of the original Asian American dream. No one can guarantee that the profession you have chosen will lead to a perfect life. So go ahead and attempt to do the things you are good at, and those things that give you a sense of accomplishment. Remember, you can always change the course of your life. It's never set in stone. The average American changes careers about seven times in a lifetime.
Here are some tips for engaging your parents and avoiding potential conflicts:
- Include your parents in the career selection process as early as possible. You can begin to indicate an interest in varied paths and then be more definitive when you fully develop your career targets.
- Share the results of assessment tests, personality profiles, and values and affinities inventories, and explain the significance of the profession you have selected. Solicit your parents' feedback.
- Engage parents in your decision-making process by giving them examples of success stories for the career targets you have chosen, and don't forget to show them your passion for the field.