Nancy is a new graduate who sailed through high school and college. She worked hard throughout school, and had good extracurricular activities, several prestigious internships and a good job search plan. Nancy did a junior-year summer internship that led to a job offer, but it’s now off the table because of hiring freezes. So she started looking for an entry-level position, only to find her target employers weren’t hiring.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. Nancy was stunned and is feeling more and more frustrated and pessimistic.

Sound familiar? The current recession has created an enormously challenging job market for college students and new graduates. Paid and even unpaid internships are tough to find. The days when recruiters were wooing candidates on campus, enticing them with sign-on bonuses and large starting salaries, are gone. College graduates now have to crank up their job search, actively pursuing many more companies and jobs than before.

Of course, rejections are common. Although you may intuitively know rejection is a normal part of the job search process, if you are a recent grad, you may have little personal experience with it. And ongoing rejection can be paralyzing. But if you handle it properly, you can use the rejection as a tool in the job search process. After all, what you learn from each rejection brings you one step closer to a yes.

Here are some concrete steps you can take to deal with the rejection constructively and improve your chances of landing a job.

Handle Your Head

You may feel stunned at your first rejection. You’ll deny the implication. It must be a mistake or due to some quirk. When a few more rejections roll in, you may even get mad. Over time, you may begin to lump all the rejections into a pot and draw (inaccurate) catastrophic conclusions, such as: I’m a loser. I’ll never get a job. It will never work out. I’ll be stuck at home, working part-time in a lousy job for minimum wage. This cascading negative self-talk gradually leads to feeling down, losing confidence and wanting to avoid your job search altogether.

Remember: Finding a job is a numbers game. The more opportunities you pursue, the probability of success increases, but so does the frequency of rejection. And you are more likely to experience rejection (or no response at all) in a soft economy than in a robust job market.

First, understand that the final decision may have nothing to do with your capabilities. Many factors play into the hiring process, over which the candidate has no control. A position may be cut due to budget, or a resume may be improperly screened due to limited company resources. A resume can even get misplaced. Or, the job just may not have been the right fit for you. The key is to treat each rejection as a unique event to be dissected and learned from.

Get Feedback from Companies That Reject You

When there is something you could improve, you want to know about it. Strive to establish a realistic appraisal of your job search strengths and areas for improvement, and develop a game plan for bolstering your gaps.

It takes guts and humility to ask for critical feedback. “It’s amazing to me how few candidates follow up after an interview,” says one Boston-area recruiter. “College graduates are in a perfect position to ask for feedback. Hiring people remember what it was like to start out and want to help.”

So scrounge up your courage and call. You can say you’re disappointed you didn’t get an offer since you were really excited about the job and thought you were a great fit. Then express that you would really appreciate anything they can tell you to help you learn from the experience. Ask the recruiter, human resources rep or interviewing manager the following questions:

• How should I improve my cover letter and resume? 
  
  
• How could I have better shown how my skills and experiences would help the company? 
  
  
• How could I improve my interviewing skills? 
  
  
• Did I communicate my knowledge of and excitement about company goals and how I could contribute from day one? 
  
  
• Did I have a background gap?

Make sure to follow up with a written thank-you after the conversation.

All the feedback you gather is gold. Take this constructive criticism seriously and make the suggested changes. Otherwise, you’re doomed to repeat mistakes, incur potentially avoidable rejections and lose steam.

Improve Your Job Search

If you continue to apply for jobs without success, you should also critically reevaluate your job search strategy. Candidates who land the job are well-focused, prepared and connected. John Conway, director of career services at Regis College, has these suggestions: “Widen your net, target robust industries, set multiple job goals (and) pursue different locations.”

Finally, make sure you develop a disciplined and organized daily job search schedule. Don’t allow your frustration about rejection to disrupt your routine and full-time commitment.

Additional reporting by Mitch Bornstein, PhD.